All of us have our acknowledged and unacknowledged pet peeves. Years of self-reflection led to my recognition that I would rather be myself than be included for someone I am not. However, it was easy for me because, as a child with an unusual family history, I often “depended” on my imaginary friends rather than “real” ones (who can turn away on a whim). My pet peeve is my deep dislike of labels: conservative, liberal, democrat, republican, and so and so forth. As a “hyphenated” self, I live by the “intersection” of many ideas and beliefs (and some Buddhist ideas fit my personality quite well, though I question the adherence to universalism, which is actually not as prevalent in Buddhism if we look more closely into it). Judaism is attractive to me for its rigor, commitment to serious study (when it does), and ability to question (though, in some cases, it can become detrimental and used by its enemies). I still remain “committed” to secularism, though I respect those who are true to their religious beliefs as long as they don’t feel the need to impose them on others. I am not Ok with proselytization. In any shape or form: political, religious, moralistic.
In the piece below https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/arts-letters/articles/my-father-elie-wiesel I love this passage:
““Words,” my father wrote, “can sometimes, in rare moments, attain the quality of deeds.” As Matthew, Derek and friends exchanged words and ideas with each other, could there have been a more important conversation going on in the world at that moment?
Think of all the barriers that prevent us from opening ourselves up to someone else’s ideas, the preconceived notions we can have about each other. I know I have mine. What are yours?
• “All Trump voters supported the alt-right so I can’t talk to them.”
• “Orthodox Jews are taught what to think, they’d never understand me.”
• “Zionists can’t be feminists, they don’t belong in this movement.”
Matthew and Derek broke through walls much like these to find out what was on the other side. They broke through the labels and preconceptions and found—nothing more and nothing less than each other, fellow human beings.”
It is an idealist in me who wants to break these barriers, and a realist in me recognizes that it happens rather seldom. But no matter what, I do not accept preconceived notions. I am not so smart to know what other people think. I'd rather ask. It is my pet peeve, and I am well aware of it. So don’t peg me in, I might fall out and disappoint you.
Translated by me from my inner language.